Okay so here’s the thing, I honestly do not know how this post or this writing piece or whatever is going to go, but let me just “wing it”. To be quite frank, I am using my brother’s keyboard and it is so awesome and so I don’t know how to explain this but I have a thing for typing on keyboards, so basically this keyboard made me want to write. (Big brother if you are reading this, I stole your keyboard btw :)..) And who knows how this will go. Please ignore my grammatical errors in this writing piece, I am indeed too lazy to write formally, so this is merely an informal piece. I don’t really know what I feel right now, I don’t even know if I have any feelings honestly. Feelings are nonexistent to me, there is no definition under the word “feelings” in my so-called dictionary. But somehow, today, and just today, I feel sad. Yes, today I am feeling. “Hello 911, I need help. I am starting to feel things”- this is what I would have done, but realistically speaking I cannot do that. Anyways, yes I am sad. I am sad for me, and I am sad for you too. I am sad that the earth is hurting, that mother nature is sitting precariously on the edge of earth, waiting for it’s arrival to leave this monetary system we call life. I am sad for earth’s people. I am sad that millions of people do not even have anything to eat, no shelter, no education, no nothing. Everybody deserves to have an education, education is obligatory, education is life itself. Without knowledge, how can one live in this cramped up sphere full of pretentious robots. I am so sad that trees are being cut down every single second, and I am sad because I cannot do anything about it no matter how much I try to speak up. Truly, I am sad that populations are being displaced, that children are getting blown up in the Middle East by the so-called “good people”. I am sad that people die of diseases they cannot afford the medicine to, and I am sad that I do not have all the money in the world to help save every single person on the verge of losing his/her soul. I am sad that wolves and animals are being gunned down in Idaho. I am sad that she committed suicide because she felt oppressed by society and its moral values and how everyone told her she’s not pretty/skinny/good enough. I am sad that our precious 70% of water that this earth holds is being poisoned directly in front of us and no one is giving an absolute damn about it all. I am sad that so many of us human beings are complicit. I am sad because so many people think they are in a higher standard and they are superior because of their skin color or their nationality/religion. I am sad that that single suffering mom cannot pay her bills in order to provide her children with a happier and a healthier life. I am sad because I cannot help her. I am sad that most of us are moving forward one step and simultaneously taking two steps back. I am sad because I cannot fix this all. And I am sad because I tried and tried but I failed. I am sad and I am tired of trying to try to help. But I will not stop until I succeed.
Saturday, November 30, 2013
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"Winging it" works for you. I loved every bit of it! It's raw and personal, and frankly I related a lot! - Alia Al-Hazami
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, good job writing about this. Self expression is a great thing in all of it's forms, and I'm glad you chose to talk about this especially because it's not an easy thing to define or pinpoint. You described a dilemma that is faced by most of us, if not all. It's a problem I kept dealing with, and still am dealing with it. It's not a feeling that fades overnight. I hated feeling useless to everyone, feeling like there's nothing I can do, wanting to change so much but not being able to. In fact, it's because of this dilemma that for almost 3 years now I don't watch the news anymore. If I'm listening to the radio and I hear the news section starting, I switch it off. If I'm flipping through channels I never ever chose any of the Jazeera or Arabiya or CNN or BBC whatever channels, because watching all the sad news made me feel incredibly helpless and I hated myself for it. It's selfish of me I know, but I wanted to avoid it because it always made me feel hateful. (and to be quite honest, we can never be truly sure what we're hearing/seeing is the truth)
ReplyDeleteBut then, I found out we don't have to feel completely useless. Through different experiences, with people I know personally and a few I don't know at all, I realized there's always, always, something we can do. We may not be able to save the world, but we sure can start by helping out whoever we can reach out to, in whatever small ways. We can each help someone, if not everyone.
For example, people with mental disorders. I may not have the ability to alter their chemical balance or cure their illness, but there is something I can do. Something ANY one person can do. Speak up for them, give them hope, treat them like normal people with any other illness, spread awareness and extinguish the ignorant thoughts and stereotypes about mental health, show them there's always something that can be done, write about them, spread their stories, and of course the least any person can do is just listen. You'd be surprised just how much you can help someone by simply listening to what they have to say.
Or even with mother nature, recycling for example. you can recycle on your own if others don't do the same. You can teach others about how they're harming the environment when they throw their trash around. You can show them that whatever it is they are doing is not the best choice, and if you have something better tell them. They may not choose to follow you, and if you're as unlucky as I am they'll probably completely ignore you- but at least you tried. No one can deny your efforts. And the best changes always start when each individual person looks into themselves, and alters their own selves into something they believe is better. "Be the change you want to see in the world. -Mahatma Gandhi"
Of course, we may not all be good at the same thing. Some are great listeners, others are healers, some like to lead the herd and actually move people towards change directly. Some are all three, and more. The point is, we all always have something, it's just up to each of us to find what that something is, and choose how to benefit the world through it.
Start out small, and one day you'll see. All the big changes in the world started out somewhere small. Just believe in yourself, and in just how much even a single person can do. ^^
Seeing how you ended with "But I will not stop until I succeed", I imagine this may all be something you already thought of anyway. I'm with you, don't stop until inshallah you will succeed. As long as you try, you never fail, even if you don't get the expected result you wanted.
Best of luck, and great post.
- Amna AlHashemi
Ps: about the keyboards, I know right?! There's something about them that just keeps your fingers tapping and typing away!